Leading Stories

So, what makes us want to share our story? I've been interested in that for years and have thought about it nearly every day since Mary Ann Holladay challenged me to read Leading with Soul. The premise of the book is that everyone has a story and if we learn each other's stories it ties us together and allows us to accept each other and work together. That in turn allows us to lead effectively.

Now, aside from the business aspect of that, which is a pretty great concept and one that my boss lives by, it's just a good concept to apply to our personal lives.

But, what exactly drives us to be understood? And to share personal information, stories, and anecdotes with friends? And especially, what drives us to share with strangers?

Aside: Little Red Pen, did you notice I used parenthetical words at the beginning of each of those three sentences? Were they correct?

When Leading with Soul was written, the internet did not exist. Facebook and Blogger weren't a Twitter in anyone's eye and email was only available on the AS400 in green text. And in the past short decade(+), what made us open up our lives to... everyone. And why?

Because we want to be understood! We crave empathy. We want to be significant. I do anyway.

When I was hospital-ridden, I had an overwhelming desire to tell everyone I knew what had happened to me. I asked Mom to call my friends and on the list of people to call was a college professor that I respected. She knew me, but I hadn't seen or talked to her for awhile. And to tell you the truth, she probably didn't respect me and she was probably really freaked out by the call. Why was I so driven to tell her? If you can answer that question, you may completely change my view of myself forever. Please try.

Now, I'm embarassed that I asked for the phone call. Hopefully, she has forgotten the really weird call she received. But the reason, which I think I've resolved, was because I needed to be cared about by as many people as I could. (Whew, and did I ever get my wish!) My cup runneth over!

My community is amazing, and one reason it is a community that everyone wants to be a part of is because we share our stories and we crave to know more about each other. There are key people in my life that read that book when Mary Ann sent it around and asked each of us to write our thoughts in the front of the book. And those people are still friends (and strong leaders) and will forever be a part of the deep color and texture of my soul. Those that didn't read the book, were taught by the others to care. To care about each other and to listen to the stories. Those hum drum stories that make up our lives and those sensational stories that add depth to our lives. We taught each other to care. And to listen. And THANK YOU MARY ANN for sharing and caring enough to pass around a little 100-page gem that really got to the core of who we want to be known as. (BTW, don't ever leave "as" at the end of sentence.)

Now, the book isn't as trite and remedial as The Fred Factor, so if you are relunctant to buy a copy, don't worry, you won't be quizzed or mandated to do ADP Book Club, but you might be touched like I was when I first read it. Mark it up, lend it to your favorite (and least-favorite) people and pass on a legacy that will change you.

The funny thing about it, (more parenthetical phrases) is that Mary Ann lost the book to a selfish General Manager who was more interested in his Special Projects Manager than returning her commented copy of the book. I hope she retrieved it because it bothers me that he has it instead of her. (Picture the scene when he and the PM were found spread out on his Mahogany Row desk during work hours -- now that's a good story). Really, I hope he grew a conscience and gave it back to her.

Anyway, stories... I'm driven to tell them. And obviously, you are driven to know them. Good on you! Because I'm driven to hear your story too. Write it, say it, record it... anyway you need to spew it, please continue to share it!

This post is dedicated to Kellene, Sandy, Lisa, Robyn, Mary Ann, Kirsten, Christine, Dana, Darlene, Lindsay, Kristin, Mandy, Mia, Sandra, Rebecca, Kylie, Lonni, and Dave Lew (who knew more about me than I did because he understood my story without even having to read it). I still love all of you.