For Kirsten

Beyond all these inconsequential family/dog posts, there is a heart aching because she has lost her Jed. And because she is searching for some sort of sign, some tiny breath of him to whisper a good-bye in her ear, it is hard for me to muddy up the Cloud with other posts.

I have cried for two straight days for her... and him; for he must miss her terribly.

And only a few know her grief. And none of us who have lived it can tell her how in the end, it gets better. And eventually, there is joy when the dullness ebbs and rays peek through the void and begin to make you smile despite the horror of loss.

Kirsten, that low-pitched growl that comes from within you when you scream to the ether never quiets. It's a sound that is innately burnt into your soul. A soundprint, that you can call up when you need to scream to the moon, "BRING HIM BACK. I beg you, bring him back... please, won't you bring him back?"

That heart growl, is yours. Never mistaken it for another. Cherish it. You will find that it carries you along the lonesome road, which is filled with millions of people that love you, but despite all good intentions, can never fill you up.

Use it when the days get long with grief; when you miss him beyond belief and you think your heart will never take another beat because he is gone. Scream when you need to hear an answer to your Whys. I promise, that growl is yours and somehow, in it's primal voice, it will help calm you as you get through this life.

Kirsten, you will get on with it, I promise. And beyond that ravine, there is joy beyond belief.