What I Didn't Know...

"So, Mom, you wrote that your book is only from your point of view. Well, I wrote this a while ago, about the accident. Thought you might like to read it........"

When I was 16 (Thursday, June 27, 1996 to be exact) my life changed forever. I was driving back from Panguitch (a funeral) with my Grandma Darlene and my Uncle Dave. I saw the sun streaming through the clouds (you know, when you can see the sunlight falling to the ground almost like ribbons), I got a sinking feeling. A few years before, my friend Jen told me that when you see this phenomenon it means that an angel is getting it's wings. It was about 12:30 in the afternoon. I brushed it off, as most people do. We pull into my Grandma's house, walk in the door and was met by my Aunt Becca. Bec hugged me, looked like she had been crying. I thought this was very odd. Then I hear those words "I'm so sorry Tin. There's been an accident." Immediately, I think of my dogs (because your parents are indestructible) I pull away, look at her and she proceeds to tell me that my mom and Brent were in an accident, Brent and Steve were dead and my mother is paralyzed from the neck down. It's all a blur after that. I don't remember who called Dad, but he showed up just after we pulled into the drive way. I remember laying on the floor of my Grandma's house, head buried in my arms, not really sure if I should cry or be grateful that my mom was still alive.

I will never forget making those phone calls, to friends, family and co-workers. I was 16 and had to tell people that my step dad was dead and my mother would never walk again. Something that I don't believe any 16 year old should have to do. There are very bizarre coincidences that occurred in the months leading up to the accident and that day. Brent knew he was going to die; he talked about it with my Mom; how he wanted his funeral, what to do with life insurance, etc. Mom had extreme pain in her legs for about a month prior. Indescribable, idiopathic pain. I had a dream about the man we do not speak of. In my dream he called me, said he needed to tell me something important, I blew him off, he told me I would need help, I would need money and I could use his credit card. Very weird, I hadn't thought of him since the day we left him. But he was the one that called Bec to tell her about the accident. The last time I saw Brent, we were pulling out of the parking lot, I looked back, waved and thought that's the last time I'm going to see him. Then there's the clouds and that sinking feeling I felt at 12:30, the same time that their plane crashed.

Fast forward to the next afternoon, I walk into Deaconess Hospital in Billings with my Grandma and my mom's dad. No one prepared me for what I would see, no doctors told me that my mother would be strapped to a hospital bed, tubes and wires all over her, and the the 2nd worst thing I have ever seen in my life...my mother's head is screwed (literally) into a halo. My mother had screws in her skull! My heart sank, I stopped, staring at her. Her eyes were closed, I thought she was dead. I gather myself and say "Hi Mom."

Those words prove to be the most powerful words I would ever utter. I didn't know it for years later, but I saved my mom's life. Later, my mom explained to me that when I walked into that ICU hospital room, she was "dreaming" of Brent. Brent was standing there, holding his hand out, saying "Please come with me, it's nothing like they explain, it's a wonderful place. Let me share it with you." Mom said he was surrounded by light. She went to grab his hand, almost touched it, then she heard my words. "Hi Mom." In my upbeat voice. Just as she heard those words, Brent disappeared forever. She opened her eyes.