We Could Learn from Them

I've been selfishly savoring a sweet sacred event for the last few months before I shared it with the world (and apparently, the world is reading... Moscow, Russia, seriously?).

In February, my last year came full circle and taught me a lot about friendship, loyalty and loving your best friend. The timeline of the last year had some significant events:

May: Invited to CCI team training. Excited, apprehensive, nervous, sort of arrogant that I made it through the application process in only 10 months (or at all), set a goal to make Utah a satellite headquarters for CCI placements.

June: Attended team training, humbled at finding loyalty from a dog you just met, lucky enough to share with life-long friend who gave up her week to join me in my joy, life changed, came home with big black man and a constant smile.

August: attended CCI graduation, met new friends Eileen and Ron (puppy raisers extraordinaire), proudly sat next to Johnny the Veteran who received a 3-minute standing ovation while I cried for him; life-long friend joined the festivities again with her entire family!

September - January: Made new friends who shared the dream of satellite headquarters for CCI placement. Doubled the Wasatch Champions member list, Tadaki's legacy grew to two puppy raisers at ADP, two puppy sitters at ADP. Plan, plan, plan, succeed, succeed, succeed. New facility dog, a couple of skilled companions accepted and loving everything our leadership team accomplished.

February: travelled to Oceanside with Amy and Misty for Misty's turn in. This is where it gets good.

You get to a certain point in your life where you are satisfied with the great life you have. Family thrives, friends support and make you laugh every day, amazing dog gives loves practically every minute, and you pray to the full-figured goddess above that your life continues along the stellar path that you've been blessed with.

Then along comes a friend that inches her way into your world and the joy only increases. Amy. That smile makes me do the same. She washes my Tadster and ENJOYS it. She quietly joins the group even though some of the group may irritate, but she never shows her disdain or frustration. And those that she finds worthy, she trades friendship with. Amy shares her friends, we grow together, we spend time together. And I was compelled to go to Oceanside when she turned in her Misty dog.

How could I not go? That little friendship angel sat on my shoulder saying, "We can't wait to be there to see Miss Misty go to college.

Sidebar: When my child went to college, I had a break down. And when she graduated, I was a snivelling mess. I called my friend, Diane, from her curb with a wine bottle tucked between my knees so it wouldn't break and two tall-stemmed glasses. Everyone at my house was tucked in, I was pacing back and forth in my chair, around and around until I fished a bottle from the fridge and headed around the corner hoping Diane was home. We sat on the curb at 11:00 at night and I cried because my life had come full circle and my kid was graduating. How could Misty's turn in be any different for Amy? She trained her every moment for 15-months and she was giving her up to college. You know, once they go to college, they are never yours again. They get on with what needs to be done and frankly, they really never look back.

Misty going to college: Earlier that week Tadaki and I bought several cards intending to give one of them to Amy at just the right minute she needed it. My timing was bad, but we delivered what we thought was the perfect card and shredded the others. Wasn't perfect timing, but WTF, timing is a hard thing to get right.

So, in February, when Amy boarded the US Airways flight and I boarded Delta, we'd pass in the sky and meet up in San Diego for a somewhat quiet ride to Oceanside where that would be Amy's last night with her child.

On the drive to Oceanside, I asked inane questions about Amy's background, college, love interest, and the closer we got to the big O-town, the quieter we got. I had a cork in my throat and she was probably biting her lip praying I'd shut the hell up.

Hotel room, awkward, "What do you want to do?" and then, "What the hell, break all the rules!" So, we let Tadaki and his true love girlfriend frolic on the bed like any lovers would do. Misty in her yellow g-string cape and T-Bone in his manly blue hardware-clad blue vest, both with wanton abandon, jumped from bed to bed for an hour as we laughed about breaking the rules and giving up our regime to their true love. (Tadaki is still waiting for Misty, hoping he'll get a letter saying, "Come to me, it might be the last chance we see each other." And he will lead me willingly to Oceanside for her big graduation day so I can cry with Amy at the curb.)

Late to bed. Early up to make it there in time to practice the "handing over." Now, when I graduated with my Tadaki, I had had a couple months to soak in his awesomeness and the reality of what I'd gone through at team training. I cried because I had made contact with Eileen and Ron by then. Kellene, my true-life-long-friend was there to hold my hand, J.D. and Mom and Kristin showed up for me and I had recovered a bit from the intense sensory overload it is to get and take from someone else. (Thanks a million times, Eileen and Ron for giving up your kid so I could have him.)

So Ta-Don't, Misty and I sat outside on the little wall of the Mission fountain making small talk with previous CCI graduates and puppy raisers while Amy had to do a mock PRACTICE of giving up her kid.

Good, God, how hard is that! It shouldn't have to take practice to give up someone you love. It's like receiving a Dear John letter TWICE just in case the mail was delayed.

So, between pictures, small-talk, killing time, HURRYing even though they probably didn't need to HURRY, we finally went into the building. I was choking. Effing choking on my throat cork trying to be brave, supportive and a good friend for my sort-of-new-friend. And every time I saw Tadaki looking at Misty with his, "I love you, girl," look and Amy letting the leash slack because she didn't have it in her to give any more, "Don't," corrections I was dying and trying to look as though I was tough enough to watch this unfold in front of me.

Ok so when the puppy raisers say that giving up their pup because it is so rewarding to see how they can change lives, DO NOT BELIEVE IT! It is hell and you should know before getting into the gig that it is the most gut-wrenching thing I've ever witnessed. All I could do was take inappropriate pictures of Amy crying and cringing so I could hide behind the lens.

Puppy Turn In. This is how it looks: Walk to the front, say your dog's name, say your name, stand on stage, smile, DIE because you really DO NOT WANT to do this! Walk off stage, sit, smile, go to CCI, and start the actual Give It Up ceremony.

After the CEREMONIAL leash hand over comes the quiet, non-event of walking through the side door at headquarters, taking a piece of chocolate candy from the cute dish outside the side door (like that actually appeases the senses), "Take your time, spend as much time as you need," whisper, then the "I EFFING CAN'T STAND IT ANY LONGER" scream that comes from your heart.

I cowardly hid behind the camera while Amy said goodbye to her Misty-Loo-Loo, for barely a minute because her heart ached so much she wanted to scream at me for even being there.

She bravely looked Misty's way as she skipped to her new challenge of college. I vaguely remember doing the same to my mother when I went away to college at 19-years-old and didn't even thank her for her sacrifice for the chance to become more than I was.

I wish I could spare you Amy's face, and my shaking hands and blurry pictures, but you have to see how terribly hard it was. I share the perfect illustration of how it was to say goodbye to a daughter and good luck to a friend.

And what I inadequately tried to capture in words, Tadaki and Misty show us in pictures. What more can you say to this? "Good-bye, my first love." And with the best 'I love what you are doing' that Tadaki could muster, we leave the room. I wished that horns would have blown and the heaven parted to announce the best new dog in town. But in the quietness of CCI's humbleness, Misty trotted out looking forward to her new life.

Amy and Misty, we will be there in August when she gets to be on the end of a leash as it is handed over to a perfect new friend.

So full circle of getting and receiving and giving came around and I finally get the full picture of what I've been given. And I learn another example of what true friends do for each other.