Uncomfortable in Some One Else's Skin

14 Years! and most times I'm still not comfortable in my body. It isn't MY body. It's borrowed from someone that stepped in front of me when I needed a new one, so I'm grateful, just not comfortable, yet. I go crazy when I start to list all the things this one can't do like hike, wrap my legs around my lover, sit. So in order not to go absolutely twisted every time I look in the mirror, buy clothes, or push, I made a pact that I'd bless this body every chance I get.

When you bless something everyday, the shine starts to show. One of the really great things that I can do that others can't do is sit in the prime seats at the ball park. Reserved. Just for me. First base line, near the beer stand and restrooms, out of the sun/rain, and my friends can always get seats near me.

When I need to pee I get a headache. Now that's cool isn't it? How can you ignore a headache? Actually, I've learned to do it and when I ignore it, some other sign happens like, right now, I know I need to head to the head and my left knee is really hot. Sometimes I sneeze or get a stuffy nose.

GOLDEN TICKET! I get to go to the front of the line at: The Empire State Building, Disneyland, Sea World, Airport Security. OMG! the last time I travelled, the TSA agent that did the security check ("When I get to the sensitive areas of your body, I will use the back of my hand...") actually said to me, "I've never felt such big underwire on a bra before." WTF!

And I get to enter places through special doors like PetCo Park and Versailles. I get to go in the back door a lot too.

As I reread what I just wrote, it is stupid. Any way, I'm trying to look at the really good parts of my life on this 5,110th day of wheelchair life. I still have private 20-second meltdowns about every couple weeks and every now and then I breakdown in front of my best friend.

Um. I think the really good part is still you. Thanks for hanging in there with me for so long.